The Great Baelorshipping
by blockchiken
Summary: King Jeoffrey now controls King's Landing with Eddard Stark as his Hand.


The Great Baelorshipping

Twas a cold evening night in King's Landing. Eddard Stark had just finished sleeping and was getting ready for his favorite late-night activity. Hunting. So he went out into the streets with a crossbow and just started shooting it off. When he returned to the Red Keep, he was kind of bored. But he was tired too. So he went back to sleep just so that King Jeoffrey wouldn't notice he'd gone out.

That morning,  
"Who killed all of my pigs?" Screamed King Jeoffrey.  
"Was not I," Said the spider.  
Then Varys said, "OMGWTFBBQ, A TALKING SPIDER?!"  
"Cease that man. Arrest him!" Scolded Jeoffrey at the half-man-half-spider that stood in the corner.  
"Ai, sir" Said Hand-of-the-King Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell.  
Ned grabbed the spider man, took out his long Ice and begun beating the creature senseless. It gave Jeoffrey such a rush.  
"Ned, my good hand, would you care to continue such violence. I love a good beating."  
"As you command, Sire. As your hand, I will do what ever it is that your hand does best."  
Ned continued beating the creature with this long, cold, yet shimmering blade.  
"Oh yes. Right there," Exclaimed the now very horny King.  
"I believe I should be going now..." The eunuch took his leave. But The king and his hand remained beating the small, yet innocent creature senselessly.  
It went on for about another hour until there was really nothing left.

"Ai sir, it was on my honor to demolish that thing." Ned bowed to Jeoffrey.  
"Good. As a child of only thirteen years, my name day approaches. And I will have your daughter wed."  
Sansa, Ned thought, how could she marry such a masochistic boy?  
"Fine," said Ned. "As the ward of Winterfell, I allow you to take my daughter and do with her what you must."  
Maybe then I won't be killed like Jeoffrey's last victim, John Aaron. Not to be confused with Jon Arryn. Two seperate people.

At about four hours past the high sun, Petyr Baelish was snooping as usual, Jeoffrey saw.  
"My lord, would you please stop stalking me now, I'm on my way to one of my whore houses, you see."  
the King appeared from behind a pillar. "Yeah. Sorry. It's just that I wanted to keep my eye on you Petyr."  
"All you'd see is me jerking off anyway as I have no interest in prostitues, even though I own like a thousand here in King's Landing."  
"That's definately not what I want..." Said Jeoffrey suspiciously.  
"Well then, my lord, I will be on my way. My regards to your Mother the Queen Regent."  
"Who?" Jeoffrey was mad. "My MOTHER has no power. I am the true king of the Seven Kingdoms. Not that whore. She belongs in one of your houses."  
Another voice appeared, "That can be arranged."  
"Who goes there?" Asked the king.  
"Tis I, Lord Varys. I just wanted to let you know that your mother is a whore. That is all."  
"Thank you," Replied Baelish.  
Varys and Baelish then frolliced off into the distance.  
"What the absolute fuck is going on today?" said Jeoffrey to himself. He always talks to himself. He really doesn't have any friends.

On his way back to the throneroom, He noticed two guys going at it in an allyway. Up to his stalker self, he just sat there at watched. The two men clearly resembled two very large penises. Both things that Jeoffrey enjoyed seeing ever since he saw his father Jaime and his mother the Queen having sex.  
But the things they do for love. So Jeoffrey just sat there some more. He was super hard. Like harder than The Wall. If his dick and The Wall had a fight, the Wall would still probably win since its like 200 feet tall. But either way, his dick wouldn't go flacid. Not even after that much snow. Jon Snow that is.

Night fell by the time Jeoffrey returned to the throne room. He had to use his crown to cover up his massive boner. Honestly, his cock wasn't that big. Plus it was misshappen. Most likely because he was born of incest and had tons of other genetic disorders. But aside from that, Ned slowly was walking in the room. Taking his time strolling down the carpet way into the court.  
"What news befell us now, my noble hand?"  
"Nothing much." Said Eddard. He was clearly cold. His face was blue. And his sword Ice was not with him.  
"Where is your sword?" Inquired King Jeoffrey.  
"Ay. I have lef-f-f-t th-th-y swo-ord"  
"Guards. Cease him! Bring him to the nearest Bed Chamber immediatley! Or he will die of coldness!"  
Jeoffrey didn't want his only Hand to die. Also. Why was Ned cold? He lives in the freezing north. But whatever. So back in the Throne room:  
"My lord, the nearest chamber is your majesty's. Are you sure that's okay?" the guard said.  
"Precisely. My bed has Valyrian blankets. That means they are superior to any other form of blanket."  
"As you command, my king" The guard ran off with Eddard. Eddard was tucked in nice and tidy.

Jeoffrey rushed in. "My hand! How doth you hath gotten such a low degree of temperature?"  
"I... I tried... using Ice..." Ned could barely speak. But he was looking with more colour in his face.  
"Don't speak, my hand. You will be safe under these Valyrian Blankets with that nice Valyrian pillow under your head."  
"No. My king. There is something I wanted to tell you... It's that... Ice... when it penetrates you... it freezes you... You must know this!"  
"Wait... so... my hand was... acting on its own? Only I should be the one to use my hand. How dare you fool around with out the rite of the King!"  
"I'm sorry, my leige. Please. Punish me for disobeying you."  
"And to think I almost thought you were a traitor, Ned Stark, ward of Winterfell and hand of the king..."  
"And where doth your hand be reaching now?" Ned was very arroused.  
"Oh my sweet hand... you have but one function. Pleasuring me... Now. How does this feel?" He began stroking Ned's flacid and freezing cold dick. It was so cold it almost felt like an icicle. But he knew it was going to melt into a hard stone shortly. The color soon grew back into Ned Stark's face. His dark hair soon shone once again.  
"Jeoffrey, my king... I must warn you..." Ned could barely finish his sentance. He was now trembling with excitement.  
"WINTER IS COMING!" He exclaimed as his juicy semen spilled all over the Valyrian sheets that Tywin Lannister donated to Jeoffrey's bed chambers upon him becoming king.  
"Yes my lord... I know of it." Jeoffrey stripped himself down and was now laying with Ned in the bed.  
"Oh stark," he said, "I must confess something. When I wished to have Sansa be my wedded wife, I only meant that as a chance to get closer to you. You see... I have feelings for you. Ned Stark. Lord of Winterfell."  
"My king... I... I'm shocked. Now that I'm warm again, I don't know what to say. Other than... What?"  
"Don't respond. My hand... I will do the work this time. You have always done the work for me in years past. Allow me to take the top this time. I'll Ride you like a Dothraki rides a horse."  
"What's a Dothraki?" Ned was confused as he always skipped over Daenerys Chapters.  
"Don't worry about it. In time you will understand." Jeoffrey jumped on top of Ned and started riding him like a horse. Only with his cock. His penis was a very long, about 10 inches of pure Valyrian flesh. That means its of high quality.  
"Agh... My sire... You are quite rough."  
"Don't speak. I am king. I ride the hand as much as I want!" Jeoffrey then increased his tempo. Knowing Ned had like 10 kids, it was not foolish to assume he can keep going.  
Ned was now boiling hot. The Valyrian blankets were too much for him. The feel of having the King jumping up and down on his blade for a cock. It was better than any time he had spent with Catelyn.  
Jeoffrey was now so sweaty. "Ned... I'm going to come... I'm going to come and you are going to come at the same time! I command it! You must do it!"  
"My lord... You must slow your pace... I fear you may be bringing it too soon. If you take these actions then..."  
"EDDARD!" It was too late. Ned jizzed all over Jeoffrey's poor, 13-year-old face. The force was so much that not only did it reach all the way up to his face, but it went all over the bed. Even onto the floor.  
"How... DARE YOU!" Jeoffrey begun doing it more and more now. He was very pissed. You don't like him when he's pissed.  
Out of nowhere Jeoffrey just came. All over Ned's asshole. "There... he said... That's what you get. If you were a wench you'd be so pregnant that you'd explode!"  
Ned didn't know what the fuck was going on anymore. "This time, you better do that in my mouth."  
This went on for another six hours. Until the sun began to creep up over the horizon.

That morning it was Jeoffrey's Name Day. For this day, there was a tournament in King's Landing. Ned, naturally wanted to attend.  
When he went there, Jeoffrey was like "Cease him. He's a traitor!"  
Ned was all like "Why Jeof. I thought we had something?"  
The king then stated, "But you didn't listen. I said we had to come together. You asshole did it before me. You must die!"  
Cersei was there. She said "No! Please. Send him to the wall so he can have gay sex with his bastard son!"  
Jeoffrey was not at all pleased. He then took Ice and cut of Ned's head on the steps of the Baelor Sept.  
The end.


End file.
